Facing Our Fears

23 Jul

When we are first diagnosed with a life threatening disease what are the first things that come to our minds? Can we beat it? What will my loved ones do without me? Have I accomplished what I set out to accomplish in life? These, among other thoughts, were definitely some of the questions that may have entered my mind. After my transplant I heard those magic words that cancer patients long to hear. You are in full remission!!! Enjoying every bit of that news long enough to truly feel good physically again and then of course I let my mind start to think of the next set of questions. The main one being, will it come back. For three years I was cancer free. It was an amazing three years as well. I traveled, climbed mountains, made a movie, and got engaged. Then in May of 2015 I was told that I had a bit of a set back and the cancer had returned. I was lucky to be under the tight 5 year surviellance and we caught it in its earliest stages. Now my question to you is was it worth worrying about it coming back and then worrying even more when it certainly did? NO! My focus these days is to stay as present as I can be. Enjoying each moment and thankful for the day. I feel good and the new medicine, trial immunotherapy drug, is working and I am now back at a partial remission. I am married and enjoying life. This is my battle but as I have learned from others in the fight, we play the cards that we had dealt to the best of our ability. Try not to fear the future nor regret the past. Live in this moment. As I look at the scrolling list of names of all of those that supported me in my toughest moments my heart is full. Much love to those in the fight, friends and family included. Be present and Live Life. 

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